There is one detail that I have forgotten to include. Two years ago when we let Adam go I loved him just as I love my other four children. The decision to turn him into social services was made because I felt it was the only way to keep him safe from his family's abuse and not because I wanted him to go. It was with great mourning that I said good-bye and it was not an easy process to let go and know that his future was in God's hands. I have never stopped praying for him and it was not until recently that I could look at his pictures and 'smile because we had him for a time' rather than cry because I missed him.
While I have reservations about adding another child to our family my heart is leaping with JOY at the chance to be reunited with him. Two years ago I wanted nothing more than to be his mommy. Today, I believe, the only thing holding me back from picking him up from his current foster family is my lack of Faith that GOD WILL PROVIDE.
It is interesting that I daily encourage others to have faith and trust in God but as it hits close to home I am letting my fears overtake me.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”Ephesians 3:20
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